FetLife Reviews 206

Tried to make a profile and was deleted three different times for "self promotion". I never even linked anyone ANYTHING they just asked what the name of my Instagram was. No warning, no way to get my account back. And most of the users are illiterate older men. I gave up fast lol. Lame site. There's so many people with their links up. Do better.

Mostly for people below 45. Lots of fakes. some Mods are on power trips. Don't bother if you are in Canada... not enough matches

Now they ask for more details or they will remove this post... without asking what details they need

Thats why there are so few bad reviews

What details. Most users ARE under 45 at least in Canada
Lots of fake profiles (fake doms and subs) as evident by people being removed
Success does vary by population so Canada vs US is 1 vs 10 so its obvious that its hard to match in Canada

Moderators do have guidelines but some are def worse at it then others and contesting can sometime take a long time. Or it goes quickly.

There is def a male vs female judgment bias especially if the guilty is good looking

garbage website. i keep being reported and locked out for promoting goods and services, of which i haven't been doing. multiple accounts have been locked due to spammers and scammers messaging me, ending with me being locked and banned out as if it's my fault. caretakers ignore messages and dont unlock or fix my accounts. this website is a waste and if i could rate lower i would.

Very poor customer service experience. My profile was deleted because, according to Fetlife, I was 'promoting or selling goods or services'. Nowhere in my profile or, indeed, in any communication with members was I promoting or selling goods or services. When I queried this with the 'caretakers' they were unable to specifically point to the alleged breach of their rules. If there were a genuine issue, it should be possible to have a meaningful discussion with someone at Fet. Instead, Fets suggestion was that I simply open a new account. Absurd.

My account was locked and I didnt do anything wrong I want my account back and I emailed them no response

Not safe at all for young women.

90% of the kink on the website is middle-aged and older men with daddy/girl and r*pe kink, despite making it very clear on my profile that's NOT what I'm into at all still received multiple unsolicited messages with men 2x my age saying they wanted to 'r*pe little girl and piss on me' etc etc. No hello, introductions anything. And this is reflective of the culture of the website as a whole, like much of the internet it doesn't feel like a kink at all but just full of seedy dudes.
I appreciate it's not all men on the site but it's enough to make the experience of an average new woman exploring kink feel very hostile and unsafe.

The only reason I gave it 2 stars is because I find the location/ meetups search quite helpful, there are a lot of events around me (despite being non us-based). However on balance I don't feel this is worth it given the state of the website. I wouldn't want to attend a fetife-user organised event and I can find other in person events through other channels and networks.

Just signed up for an account last night and within 20 minutes of signing up I receive an email telling me that there are a lot of people reporting my profile for not having a photo and to upload one. When I click to upload one it asks for my ID before I can continue. I'm not about to give my ID to any website that claims my profile is under attack for being new and the only way to stop that is to provide my private information. Hard pass.

Imagine just ONE report bans you from the platform (the dude was a moron, just because I told him not to nudes), then forcing you to copy your ID card to verify yourself.

Only official institutions can ask for such personal information, Fetlife isn't one of them.
Disgusting site, don't go there, I hope it dies in the next 5 years.

Straight up, FetLife Caretakers partake in racial profiling of minority users who they target for random timeouts without explanation or any responses. If you're a POC, do not sign up for this website.

In response to FetLife's response, y'all are liars. Ain't noone looking at the emails or responding to them. Get real.

If I could give it less than 1 star I would. My genuine experience has been very unpleasant. There has been blatant disregard for my safety on that site, despite constantly reporting. I have been targeted by a particular "caretaker," victimised, shadowbanned for speaking out about the unsafe practices on the site and utter lack of transparency on this site's leadership. I've also experienced been locked out, with no reason provided and no apology when they backed the wrong Aussie. It was only after the community outrage at my treatment that my account was reinstated. I'm speaking only for myself here, but there were other people treated the same way. I was locked out a second time, for speaking out against the ongoing racism, transphobia, bigotry and misogyny. Again, I am speaking only from my experience, though there were a great many others. This has been MY experience and I have evidence to support it.

Edit: within moments of this review going live, I received an email stating that FetLife asked for more details to "better understand your experience." Including my name and phone number. I won't be providing them with more ammunition to use against me. That would be stupid.

Second Edit: Since my last edit, mere hours ago, Fetlife had my review flagged for containing "defamatory content." Trust Pilot reviewed and within 17 minutes, decided that "it's not defamatory." Whoever it is from FetLife that's watching these reviews like a hawk, I have some advice. You'd spend your time better responding to the reports on the systematic racism, transphobia, mysoginy, ableism, sexism, trolling, predation and abuse that we lodge and YOU choose to actively and deliberately ignore. Maybe then, you wouldn't get so many reviews that look like this one. Also, it's NOT defamation if it's the truth. You should learn the definition of that word, before trying to bully every negative reviewer off Trust Pilot. To anyone else reading this, you DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE FETLIFE any further info. Just let Trust Pilot handle it.

I joined Fetlife expecting a safe, inclusive environment for exploring kink — but what I experienced raised serious concerns. I came across content and interactions that I felt were blatantly racist, transphobic, ableist, and misogynistic. In some cases, users seemed to be openly harassing others, particularly women and marginalized members, with little visible moderation.
As a cis man, I wasn’t personally targeted — but I witnessed repeated instances where women and femme-identifying users, were subjected to aggressive, stalker-like behavior. When others tried to call this out, I noticed their accounts being limited or silenced, which gave me the impression that speaking up about safety could get you penalized.
While some users may have positive experiences on Fetlife, I found the platform’s approach to moderation troubling. I believe Fetlife could do much more to protect its community and to ensure that it truly is the safe space it claims to be.

Fetlife penalise people for having mental health issues.

Multiple times they remove my account claiming I have broken community guidelines. Conveniently, this always happens after posting about my mental health.

They've claimed that I raped someone, which not being in prison I clearly didn't.

They do not provide any evidence of your "breach" of community guidelines.

Fetlife hosts a community of largely anxious, depressed and generally mental health community. Well, no wonder their users are so messed up if this is how they get treated.

Avoid this toxic community and website, you'll be better off.

After I criticised the CEO and the Caretakers for their inaction against the vile, racist, transphobic, homophobic and sexist trolls that permeate the site, my account had a Shadowban slapped on it.

Now none of my posts make it into anybody's activity feed. My friends have to manually visit my account to see anything I post. None of my emails to support have been answered, nor have my emails to the caretakers begging them to take action against the trolls.

Fetlife protects these people, even though they're in clear breach of the website's own terms of use.

So much for a platform "designed to be safe, inclusive, and driven by real needs - not profits".

EDIT: And now Fetlife are demanding my name and phone number in order to "better understand my experience". How many shadowbans do you guys actually have in place?

Second edit: And now their latest tactic.

Rather than deal with the trolls abs remove them from the platform for violating tuber own terms of use, they choose to forcibly block those who stand up to them from any interaction. They literally give trolls a free run at further victims.

But criticise the CEO or put revenue at risk? That gets you locked out of your account.

An absolutely useless experience. You spend your time setting up your profile, trying to be as clear and informative as you can, and then have to deal with fossils who don't even have the maturity to manage their sections with communication. You'll just log in to find your post removed, your account banned from the group, and the admins have blocked you so you can't even ask why.

An absolute pile of dog poop. And they ask money for it, lol.

Absolute Scam. And writing it as a female. After a month of slowly exploring the page my account was deleted for no reason. No one is there to help.Contacted the customer support twice, IT is a joke, they will not send the password reset email even if you are an active user. So after a month you can lose access to the account JUST LIKE THAT.

The customer service of this website has gotten worse over the years because the site has grown too big.
Fetlife has lost contact with the community.
When I worked in customer service, I was told if a customer asked questions to always reply with honest answers. Your lucky if you get a response from the Caretakers’s and even if you do, there not actually answering your questions or concerns.
They have put me on a time out without telling me. I’ve had to ask. It’s like an electric company disconnecting your electric and you find out when you try to turn electric on.
John Baku needs to come back down to earth and listen to the community.
The caretakers need to respond to customers and get both sides of story before shutting down an account

I have sent you my case number. Considering I’ve chased you and had no response. It’s poor.

Plus you just took there word and didn’t contact me.

Fetlife. Thank you for the response. The issue is you only looked at one side of the story. Not once did you ask for mine. So I can’t see how you could give an honest decision. From my security background, you have failed be badly. I’m actually thinking about going to the press about your incompetence and how the site can’t handle the growth of its website and the safety of its clients.

Ok, so it's been about 8 years ago when I joined Fetlife. However, at first I didn't understand how to use it. But it didn't take long. Once you meet someone local that can get you vetted to attend parties and you go munches and meet people it can be a blast. I learned so much about myself. I'm no longer active now due to health reasons. But I will always have fond memories of the times I had, the people I met, and the parties I attended! I was very very active!!! I miss it a little. But it no longer serves me. I loved Fetlife. I suppose it can be different in each area. But Austin, TX was a blast!

If you’re thinking of restarting or deactivating your account… don’t. It’s literally like I’ve been shadow banned, from growing to 1K in 6 months with my first account to barely getting 100 in 2 months with my new one. I’m not sure why they don’t like you to restart or deactivate, but yeah it’s weird

I was on Fetlife for over 15 years. This week, I was abruptly told that Fetlife had received 'reports' about me from 'other users' (no details, very Stalineque) and that as a consequence, my account had been blocked. I would have to verify it to continue. I was not happy to do so because Fetlife required a government document (just a little self-important for a fetish website?) and frankly, I don't trust them with such an important document as a British passport.

Moved to using my second account (set up for different kink) and...two days later the same thing happened.

So clearly someone - inside or outside the administration - has some kind of problem with me, and is stalking me, intent on getting me banned.

Mission achieved, I guess.

Poor show, though.