One of those days.
One of those days.
The top of the toothpaste tube was really tight and in struggling to twist it with wet hands I sprained my wrist. The pain caused me to slip and fall. I tried to save myself by grabbing the shower curtain, but it was slippery, and I only succeeded in hurting my wrist again. I smacked my head on the edge of the bath, twisted my knee and came to a painful stop, dazed, on my back looking up at the, still flowing, stream of water from the shower. This was the perfect position from which to see the curtain rail as it detached from the damaged wall and fell cutting me quite badly on the lower lip and jaw.
Bleeding and dizzy, I tried to get help, unfortunately, in the moment, forgetting that I was in a hotel room and not at home, I stepped out into the corridor, only realising my mistake when I heard the door click behind me.
A woman came out of the lift as I limped, naked and bleeding down the hallway in search of help. I tried to explain the nature of my predicament and prevent her from being alarmed but all that came out of my deformed, bloody mouth was a sound akin to ‘Bwaawuhghughaw.’
In light of your information, I needn’t have worried about her being afraid. As a three-times English martial arts champion she immediately punched me in the face and threw me to the ground, breaking my nose and dislocating my right shoulder in the process. Thankfully, at this point, I passed out and knew no more until I awoke in the manager’s office with a whole crew of chaps from the police and ambulance services looking at me. Thank you to the emergency services for both the blanket and the understanding.
I certainly won’t be purchasing Colgate Again.
1 April 2023
Unprompted review